Poetry of the Sexes

FEMALE POEM:

I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks.

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I want him to be gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind

And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I want this man to love me to no end,

And always be my best friend.

MALE POEM:

I want a def-mute nymphomaniac

who owns a liquor store

And a bass boat.

I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.